Soulful teeter-totter

At church we have been working on discovering who Jesus is and what he means to us. Last week Doug had us close our eyes and visualize how we would see Jesus. I was asked by a friend after the service what my representation had been. I told her I don't usually see Jesus as having any specific facial features. She looked perplexed so I went on to clarify how it was so. When I close my eyes and think of Christ, and I do so daily, I see the weave of hand-loomed cloth. I sense the rough texture and scent of the outdoors. You see, I always picture myself being held in a pair of arms offering comfort. I am leaning on the strength I know will hold me up.

Yesterday I had one of the saddest moments I have ever had in my life. I was designing solutions for a customer. She was what we refer to as an "intimate" customer. This type of person will share parts of her life that her friends may not even know. While I was trying to determine what kind of storage she needed she asked me what I knew about Judaism. I told her I have some Jewish blood in my background. She then proceeded to tell me how she was converting to Judaism and leaving the Methodist church behind. I asked her what prompted the change. She replied that it had been her experience that the Jewish people in her life seemed more at ease in their faith and comfortable sharing it with others. She said they seemed to have a real relationship with God. I asked her how she felt about leaving Jesus behind. She stated she had never seen much of Jesus in the people she went to church with and wasn't sure that anyone ever did more than just talk about Him.

My heart felt like it was breaking as I listened to her tell me her story. I struggled with the overwhelming desire to weep right there at the design station. I was glad I was able to help her with the problems that had brought her in. She stayed in my heart for the rest of the day. I frequently take part of my lunch break to meditate and center myself for the rest of the day. The plight of this woman kept coming to the front of my brain. I was then pondering how people who claim to love Jesus, can't show that same love to others in church with them. That led to thinking of how many of those people don't share Jesus with those not in church. Lots of people talk about the need to do so but never do anything about it.

This has been a point of contention between me and someone close to me. Can you really have a meaningful relationship with Christ and not share it? I don't think so. I think those who love the Lord can't help themselves. They are going to have it pouring out of their hearts. My mum is a great example of this. You can feel the love just rolling off her. Stand next to her for any length of time and you will feel it wash over you. I have a friend here who does the same. Either in person or over the phone he exudes the love he feels for his Lord. When he grabs you up in a hug you will feel great comfort and strength you know isn't coming from him alone.

Today I joined several friends of many varied backgrounds as we shared a meal together. There was joy and fellowship. People told of life experiences. Those that gave pause for thought and those that had us trying not to fall out of our chairs laughing. More than once I heard the phrase "I don't know how I could have made it without God's help". What makes it so fantastic is the fact that not everyone who was present knows Jesus. Today they got a good look at who he is.

In these two days, I have been at both the high end and low end of the teeter-totter.

Praying others see Jesus in me,

jene'