26 October 2005

Follow your heart

Today I went to vote and traveled through a virtual mine field to what I thought was important

I didn't vote for an at-large city council post because I didn't like any of the candidates. There wasn't even the option of a lesser evil as I thought they were all equally awful.

Some of the propositions were hard to understand and didn't grab my interest. The one I felt strongly about is the one I made sure to make my voice heard. I think the people who are in favor of Proposition 2 see things a little differently than I do. I think it will cause more problems than it will solve. There are many reasons why I voted against it. One being that I think the government is already too involved in our personal lives. While those in power now see marriage as I do, those who come after them may have a different view. I wouldn't like to then be hemmed in by views opposite to mine. People have been getting married for years just fine without benefit of formal recognition in the constitution. I think they will still be able so to do.

I am certain my comments today will generate a full inbox in my e-mail. Please remember I did what I thought I should do after much prayer when you write to let me know of your disagreement. Thanks.

19 October 2005

Proposition 2

I have received several e-mails in this past week concerning this item which will be on the ballot. In several of them there is wording which makes me very uncomfortable. In speaking of the side which opposes this amendment they indicate the opposition will be illegally influencing the election.

" In one of their organizational meetings in San Antonio, the plan was disclosed to have people from other states come to Texas to register to vote 30 days before the election to defraud this election. There is no residency requirement to register to vote in Texas -- you can register the day you move here" -excerpted from the e-mail sent to me.

If they want to bus people in to vote 30 days before the election it may be distasteful but I don't see any fraud. It's not fraud when you take advantage of a hopelessly flawed system. It's just sneaky.

My objection to the e-mail was the source. Each time I received it from someone calling themselves Christian. I believe it is uncharitable to accuse someone of wrong doing just because you don't agree with their views. If this tactic could put forth your political agenda would you abandon it? Can't blame them for getting the system to work for them just because we don't like the outcome.

If you live here, make the effort to get to the polls and let your voice be heard.

18 October 2005


O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.

Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.

Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.

For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.

Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?

If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.

If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;

Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

Psalm 139 : 1-10 King James Version

There is beauty found in the language of the King James Version. This passage has been on my mind much of late. While my life has lacked stability, it is comforting to know that God is a constant.

I have been contemplating what to do about my working life. I really don't have the time or money to give designs by jene' all my attention. I must work other jobs to pay the bills. It's a viscious vindictive circle that has no end.

To attempt to get off this crazy merry-go-round I have been doing serious soul searching. I enjoy most of the jobs I do. I need to find a way to do what I love, pay the bills, and find time for my creativity to flourish. I have been considering spending more time on one job I love. Unfortunately situations have arisen that seem to make it untenable. What should have worked out hasn't. I've been wondering why that is so.

An opportunity presented itself a couple of months ago. I came home and spent much time in prayer asking for God's guidance. I was going to sit down with someone in the company to discuss the job. I was asked to do this and looked forward to doing so. Sadly, I got bumped off the schedule twice. While still waiting for the chance to meet I found it had been perceived that I did not want the job. It seems that everything that could interfere has. This makes me believe God has kept me in His hand and is directing my steps elsewhere. Now I just have to figure out where that is.

In the midst of all this hoopla I am tired and confused. But I am certain that God is with me and I find great comfort in that.

09 October 2005


This started out as a great week. Lots of work scheduled, good for the cash flow which more closely resembles a trickle. A good friend coming for the weekend was the perfect ending.

What actually occurred was less than spectacular. I started feeling a little off as the week wore on. I thought it was allergies. I was working at the store the day we had a window to shatter and we were open to the elements all day. Thursday night I had trouble sleeping with coughing and congestion keeping me awake. By Friday morning I had added fever, raspy voice and a sore throat to the collection. I came home from work early and added in a migraine and the monthly joys of womanhood. By the time the long awaited friend made it into town Friday night I could do little more than whisper hello.

He and Sharon headed out for a late dinner and I headed to bed. I vaguely remember hearing them come in but little else. That night was devoted to more uncomfortable periods of trying to sleep. I didn't want to take anything that would impair me from getting up to go to work in the morning. Somewhere in the early hours I completely lost my voice.

I trudged off to work that morning feeling like death would be a good alternative. Now not even I am irreplaceable but I feel obligated to make sure the opening work is done at the store on my days to do so. I headed in to get those tasks accomplished but was not staying to work the floor. It's hard to give good service when you feel like crap and can't talk.

I came home to find everyone still asleep here. I took all the allowable medication I could get my hands on and crashed. Evidently when suitably drugged I can sleep through anything. I never heard any conversations, showers being taken, laundry being done or them leaving the house.

They came home to check on me before they went out for Chinese. I had risen to get something to eat and was munching a sandwich in bed. I still couldn't speak so we resorted to sign language and writing notes. I made sure to gargle each time I was awake in an effort to find my voice. It was silly to have a dear friend visiting and not be able to say a thing to him. Sharon woke me up when they got back so I could say goodbye to Nestor. Well, I could at least mime it. Wished I could have spent some time with him. He's great fun to be with.

Spent today resting and continuing to gargle so I don't lose this altered voice I have gotten back. I surprised both myself and Sharon when I tried to tell her something and sound came out.

Back to work tomorrow thankfully in the evening. Hope your week was not as much of a let down as mine was.

On a brighter note there was some great news this week. The newest addition to our family is going to be a new nephew for me. My sister found out this week and let us all know. I can say that was the best moment of the week for me.