25 March 2007

Soulful teeter-totter

At church we have been working on discovering who Jesus is and what he means to us. Last week Doug had us close our eyes and visualize how we would see Jesus. I was asked by a friend after the service what my representation had been. I told her I don't usually see Jesus as having any specific facial features. She looked perplexed so I went on to clarify how it was so. When I close my eyes and think of Christ, and I do so daily, I see the weave of hand-loomed cloth. I sense the rough texture and scent of the outdoors. You see, I always picture myself being held in a pair of arms offering comfort. I am leaning on the strength I know will hold me up.

Yesterday I had one of the saddest moments I have ever had in my life. I was designing solutions for a customer. She was what we refer to as an "intimate" customer. This type of person will share parts of her life that her friends may not even know. While I was trying to determine what kind of storage she needed she asked me what I knew about Judaism. I told her I have some Jewish blood in my background. She then proceeded to tell me how she was converting to Judaism and leaving the Methodist church behind. I asked her what prompted the change. She replied that it had been her experience that the Jewish people in her life seemed more at ease in their faith and comfortable sharing it with others. She said they seemed to have a real relationship with God. I asked her how she felt about leaving Jesus behind. She stated she had never seen much of Jesus in the people she went to church with and wasn't sure that anyone ever did more than just talk about Him.

My heart felt like it was breaking as I listened to her tell me her story. I struggled with the overwhelming desire to weep right there at the design station. I was glad I was able to help her with the problems that had brought her in. She stayed in my heart for the rest of the day. I frequently take part of my lunch break to meditate and center myself for the rest of the day. The plight of this woman kept coming to the front of my brain. I was then pondering how people who claim to love Jesus, can't show that same love to others in church with them. That led to thinking of how many of those people don't share Jesus with those not in church. Lots of people talk about the need to do so but never do anything about it.

This has been a point of contention between me and someone close to me. Can you really have a meaningful relationship with Christ and not share it? I don't think so. I think those who love the Lord can't help themselves. They are going to have it pouring out of their hearts. My mum is a great example of this. You can feel the love just rolling off her. Stand next to her for any length of time and you will feel it wash over you. I have a friend here who does the same. Either in person or over the phone he exudes the love he feels for his Lord. When he grabs you up in a hug you will feel great comfort and strength you know isn't coming from him alone.

Today I joined several friends of many varied backgrounds as we shared a meal together. There was joy and fellowship. People told of life experiences. Those that gave pause for thought and those that had us trying not to fall out of our chairs laughing. More than once I heard the phrase "I don't know how I could have made it without God's help". What makes it so fantastic is the fact that not everyone who was present knows Jesus. Today they got a good look at who he is.

In these two days, I have been at both the high end and low end of the teeter-totter.

Praying others see Jesus in me,


15 March 2007


I really believe God means for me to see four o'clock only once a day and He means for it to be in the afternoon. Still, here it is just after four and I'm aware of it. I figure if I'm still awake having taken two meds for pain and one sleep aid, meditated and prayed, there's got to be a reason.

I have family spending the night and we are stretched out all over the apartment. I'm sleeping in the living room with my nieces. Right now I have the laptop on the kitchen floor so I won't wake them.

I love having family over. They are the best friends I have and the greatest gift short of salvation God has ever given me. I am cognizant of the fact that many people don't have that relationship with their family.

Monday morning I was also up at four. The Burpeau gals had come to spend the night again. Putting all three of them into bed with me almost always ensures I will spend a good portion of the night dodging arms and legs. Then I had much to give thanks for as well. I love that God allows me to play an important part in their lives. I adore children and not having my own, it's nice to have some I can "borrow" from time to time.

I am glad to have this time to thank God for all He has done and continues to do for me. Time awake also leads to prayer for friends I don't see that often. Remembering them brings feelings of joy. To be able to do this more than compensates for being tired tomorrow.

Having said that, I think I'll get horizontal again and see what happens.

Praying in the kitchen,


08 March 2007

Quiet hugs

Several members of my family are under the weather. But the good news is we can pray for, encourage and comfort each other. I count myself very blessed that we are close. But an even greater blessing is not having to wait until things are difficult to be there for one another.

Right now I have a friend whose father is ill but won't have anything to do with him. His father disapproves of a choice he made and is allowing that to keep walls between them. My heart aches for him and there is little I can do for him but to let him know he has my love. So, we sat together and I gave him a hug.

Several people have told him how he should handle the situation and offered lots of advice. I know from this last year in my life that people love to offer advice, even when it's not wanted. I have had people offer all sorts of suggestions to me this last year. Some of them too bizarre to even repeat. I have no words to express how much I appreciate someone who can offer support and a quiet hug. They have been the best gift.

Think of someone you can gift today.