I have been feeling useless of late. In the past I have used my days off to help out in places around Houston where my heart is engaged. This last month, I have not had a day off where I was able to do anything but get dressed. Most days I haven't even achieved that. Two weeks ago I was praying about my lack of ability to serve as I had been used to. Well, to be truthful, it was more of a whining complaining about it than anything else. Fortunately God is able to hear my heart which was hiding in the whining. He took my whiny spirit and found me an outlet to help me feel useful again.
I got an email from a friend looking for help one evening right after my shift at work. Knowing I would already be tired, I figured it wouldn't hurt to be a little more so. I went to help and was so blessed by the feeling I could make even some small difference in the life of women who feel abandoned. The next day brought a text message from someone else needing help setting up for a charity event that Friday night. I went straight from work to the ballroom. Again just about an hour of work on my part and I was able to support a cause laid on my heart. More and more opportunities of this nature have continued to present themselves. An hour here, a half hour there. A chance to take a few minutes to make a presentation for a cause to those who can help.
I had in no way dreamed this was how God would answer my whiny pleas. At the back of my mind I kept envisioning finding renewed energy on my days off to be able to resume my previous schedule. I just knew God would give me the strength to do what I wanted. Instead He gave me the gift of serving in new and different ways. He let me know that however my life works out, I can share His love with those around me. I am finding myself doubly blessed. By taking shorter tasks, I am able to have more diversity in where I invest myself. And the days spent in my jammies have not gone wasted. Those days I spend in quiet moments with Him, letting Him fill me with His peace and love. Even if things don't work out the way I intended, I have learned what every two year old on the planet has always known, whining works!
Thankful for a God with good parenting skills,
jené
25 October 2009
03 October 2009
Thy will be done
I heard this phrase today in what may well be it's most genuine utterance ever. They were spoken by a man whose heart is firmly in God's hands. They were used to convey his willingness for God to work His will on the one this man cherishes the most.
Let me explain.
A couple of days ago my dear brother-in-love suffered a major medical incident. One which has left him in the hospital with resolution yet to come. He is taking all this with amazingly good spirits.
His father has had a medical battle of his own for the past few years. Extended treatment including all manner of chemotherapy and radiation have been part of his life. After hearing the news of his son, and thinking the matter over, he decided he needed to come see him in person. He lives a few hours to the north. A trip of that nature is hard for any older person, let alone one with compromised health. Still, I can understand his desire to lay eyes on his son. Any parent wants to be close to their child at a time like that. Neither the age of the parent or the child negates that.
He made it to the hospital this morning and stayed to visit for several hours. When it was time for him to leave he asked all of us present to join him in a prayer. He led us through the Lord's prayer and then added his own prayers. He thanked the Lord for all that had been done for his son, for all those who had come to be with him and help his family. He thanked God for the way God had taken care of his son and then spoke the words which went straight to my heart. "I know my will for my son, but I ask for Your will for him." That a father who was at his son's bedside in the hospital could voice those words, and mean them, humbled me.
I, who often struggle and chaff at submitting, was overwhelmed. The sincerity of this man giving back to God the most precious thing he has been gifted for God's glory made my reluctance seem petty and small. I admit that there have been times in the last few years when I have wondered just what I am to learn from what my life has become. I am grateful for what I have been taught. I know beyond a doubt of God's love for me. I know that prayer is a an intimate encounter between loved ones. I know that God has plans for me even when I cannot fathom them. What I was made to see today was how a pure heart seeks not for itself, but for what God desires. I want to be willing to offer myself for whatever God desires, with no thought of it's impact upon me. Whatever He wishes for whatever He wants.
I am thankful for the chance to know such a man after God's own heart.
Working on being willing,
jené
Let me explain.
A couple of days ago my dear brother-in-love suffered a major medical incident. One which has left him in the hospital with resolution yet to come. He is taking all this with amazingly good spirits.
His father has had a medical battle of his own for the past few years. Extended treatment including all manner of chemotherapy and radiation have been part of his life. After hearing the news of his son, and thinking the matter over, he decided he needed to come see him in person. He lives a few hours to the north. A trip of that nature is hard for any older person, let alone one with compromised health. Still, I can understand his desire to lay eyes on his son. Any parent wants to be close to their child at a time like that. Neither the age of the parent or the child negates that.
He made it to the hospital this morning and stayed to visit for several hours. When it was time for him to leave he asked all of us present to join him in a prayer. He led us through the Lord's prayer and then added his own prayers. He thanked the Lord for all that had been done for his son, for all those who had come to be with him and help his family. He thanked God for the way God had taken care of his son and then spoke the words which went straight to my heart. "I know my will for my son, but I ask for Your will for him." That a father who was at his son's bedside in the hospital could voice those words, and mean them, humbled me.
I, who often struggle and chaff at submitting, was overwhelmed. The sincerity of this man giving back to God the most precious thing he has been gifted for God's glory made my reluctance seem petty and small. I admit that there have been times in the last few years when I have wondered just what I am to learn from what my life has become. I am grateful for what I have been taught. I know beyond a doubt of God's love for me. I know that prayer is a an intimate encounter between loved ones. I know that God has plans for me even when I cannot fathom them. What I was made to see today was how a pure heart seeks not for itself, but for what God desires. I want to be willing to offer myself for whatever God desires, with no thought of it's impact upon me. Whatever He wishes for whatever He wants.
I am thankful for the chance to know such a man after God's own heart.
Working on being willing,
jené
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