A regular day

Today was a day like many others. I was blessed to wake up, had food for body and soul, worked at honest labor and met with great friends for hugs, love and fellowship. My friends have really shown that their religion is true in the past month.

True religion... is giving and finding one's happiness

by bringing happiness into the lives of others.

William J. H. Boetcker

1873-1962

Every friend I spent time with today, offered encouragement, shared laughter, and some even offered to move furniture. Such is their dedication to bringing happiness to others. As the recipient of their affections, I am moved beyond my capacity to explain.

Happy God has gifted me with some great people in my life,

-jené

Company in the uncertain

I spent some time today with a friend who took a bold step in faith this week. In the past year she has been making choices to change her life in ways she feels are important. This week she made the biggest choice yet. She walked away from a very lucrative job because she felt it was the thing to do for herself and her family. I am so proud of her I am about to burst.

She is doing her children a huge favor living life lessons right in front of them. They won't have to wonder where her priorities lie, she has shown them. She has shown them that the best choice is not always the easiest choice. They will in turn be more likely to take risks themselves. I know this to be true. I feel easier taking risks because my parents modeled walking in faith for me.

In a twist that could only come from a God with a huge sense of humor and His own timing, today's sermon was about Risking Uncertainty. The following was the scripture used.

Matthew 25: 19-30 English Standard Version

Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, 'Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.' His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.'
And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, 'Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.' His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.'
He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, 'Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.'
But his master answered him, 'You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest.
So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.
And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

Something Doug said in the sermon really hit home with me.
"Evidently in God's economy breaking even isn't good enough.
In the context of this parable wickedness is burying your talent in the ground, wickedness is playing not to lose, wickedness is failing to take a risk.
Faithfulness is using what you have been given, even risking what you have been given to the best of your God given ability."

I am grateful for Doug's insight as the last few weeks have had me answering lots of questions about why I would leave circumstances which are financially bearable for something so uncertain. My answer continues to be that money should not be the driving force of our life. I have prayed about leaving my situation for two years and feel the need to step away from the easy choice. It is about learning to let go of things I cannot change and move on to where God wants me to be. My friend Mara now knows this well, she made the right choice, not the easy choice. I hope to do as well as she.

Risking my talent,

jené

Jesus Loves Me...

..and I have never been more glad of that than I am this week. Went to see a great efficiency today and it was just gorgeous: fantastic design, access to a big back yard, and just at the top edge of my budget. The only drawback was the lack of appliances to cook with save a microwave oven. I thanked the owner for allowing me to see the unit and told him how much I loved all the work he had done. I explained that I cook and bake all the time as it's the best way for me to support my health. I have been changing all my recipes to incorporate suggestions from the anti-inflammatory diet. He then said that his place was probably not the one for me.

I was a little hesitant to see this room in the first place. Renting a room attached to a house owned by a single man , even with a separate entrance can be cause for thought. I had asked God to give me a clear sign whether or not this place would be for me. He answered that very clearly by the absence of a kitchen. So even though I was strongly tempted by the huge closet and large two spray shower, I had to yield to God's clear leading. When you ask for a sign, you'd be an idiot to ignore it.

Yesterday on my way to work I got to see an idiot up close. As I was on the feeder road for Interstate 10 , I saw and accident right in front of me. Someone changed lanes without signalling and broadsided the car already in that lane. Sadly for the lady driving the the first car, the second car was a police car. As we all slowly made our way around the wreck I lowered my window to ask if everyone was o.k. (Nurses do that you know) At that time I heard what may be the stupidest sentence to ever be uttered. She asked the officer, "Didn't you see me coming? I couldn't signal because I was on the phone." What came to my mind was not terribly kind but came nonetheless; Dear God please bless this idiot and help her get back to her village.

At lunch when I was meditating I thought of how often God must have had the same feelings toward me. He has laid down His plan for my life and yet I will often seek to avoid what should be done. God is very patient with me when I attempt to reason with him why I can't do whatever the task is. He is always forgiving when I get my heart right and tell Him I am sorry.

I found myself awake for part of the night and was pondering all that today would bring. Oftentimes when sleepless in the night I will sing myself to sleep. (yes I know that's weird). I was singing Jesus Loves Me and it was this verse that gave my heart ease.

Jesus loves me still today,

Walking with me on my way,

Wanting as a friend to give

Light and love to all who live.

No matter what He asks me to do it helps me to remember that just like God told Moses, He goes with me.

Thankful for the traveling Companion on the journey,

-jené

No news yet

No news to report yet, although it has been great this last week to see which of my friends I can pray with. I have always wondered why so many people are quick to say "you are in my prayers" but will not actually stop to take a moment to pray with you. If I have learned nothing else these last few years it is that you should hold on tight to the folks who will pray with you. These are the people you want in your life. I am blessed to have so many friends who will pray with me and I know they are the reason I am who I am today.

I was reading a note from an anxious young lady today who wondered if her friends knew everything about her would they still be her friends. I can tell her first hand that those who love me in spite of all my faults are my very best friends. Perhaps that its why we can go to God together in prayer. I cannot hide anything from God, and you can't successfully hide anything from someone who joins you in prayer. Maybe that is why some people are reluctant to pray with others. I can see that if you are trying to hide bits of yourself it would be difficult to do so while you were praying. For that reason alone, I have never dated anyone I couldn't pray with. Frankly, I have found over the years that the people who have the biggest impact in my life are the people who pray with me. There is just something so encouraging about holding a friend's hand as you both pour your hearts out before the Lord.

I get great comfort from my time spent alone with God, Morning prayers are the reason I can get out of bed. Private time to center myself will always be a part of my day. But I have noticed this past year when it was difficult to get out as easily, how much I missed having someone to pray with. Thankfully I have two fabulous friends who either call me several times a week to pray over the phone, or drop by to see me just to share in prayer. If you don't have someone you can pray with on a regular basis, find someone. It will be the best thing you can do for yourself.

-jené

Middle of the night

This time of night is always hard for me. In my family we always referred to as "O dark-thirty". Many times I have gotten up this early to start some journey. I mostly see this time of night for another reason now.

I have to a great deal learned to ignore, get past, or sublimate my pain during the day. I take time in the morning, part of my lunch hour, and evening to meditate. When my soul is centered my life is better. It's these times in the night when it sneaks up on me it is harder to deal with. I frequently wake myself up when I roll over in bed. Seems kind of unfair for my own body to attack me in my sleep.

Still, I have tried to see this as an opportunity. If I am unable to find relief like tonight, I use that time praying for family and friends. God has taught me so much in these middle of the night sessions. I am thankful for the lessons learned. I know I should give thanks in all things but will confess, this is one of the hardest things for me to do at a time like this. I have to ask Him to help me be thankful because I'm not up to the task right now. While I have been so blessed time and time again in night-time prayer, I still struggle with being thankful for the reason. I hope to do better and know that God loves me now just as I am.

I was listening to part of an audio book by A.W. Tozer Sunday afternoon was intrigued by something I heard. He likened our relationship to God to the way we view the moon. The moon always presents the same side to the earth. He said when we look at God we always see the face of Jesus, and when God looks at us, He always sees the face of Jesus. Jesus is who gives us access to God, so He is what we both see. It gives me hope to know that God sees me with all my imperfections through the face of Christ. His perfection is over me and I can reach out to my Creator because of it.

I think I'll cease the middle of the night ramblings now and see what else God has in store for today.

-jené

A variation of Paul Harvey

A prayer I learned a long time ago on my first job as a nurse continues to help me keep on track.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,

not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

I need to be at work early in the morning for a meeting and then have several places to visit. I am certain I will find the place God has for me. Between friends searching, apartment guides, craigslist and driving neighborhoods something will turn up. As I was asking God to help me to remember He will work things out, I recalled the prayer above. The first time I heard it I only heard the beginning and learned of the rest of it much later.

You may recognize it when you hear the first part of the prayer.

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Borrowing liberally from Paul Harvey "Now you know the beginning of the story"

-jené

Prayers and Hugs

Went to work today and spent some time with my prayer partner Joanne. She and I have in turn been helping each other through varying health concerns for the last few years. She shared with me that her daughter was in ICU. She is a nurse and lives back east. She has lupus and her physician changed her medicine last week. Her reaction to the change brought her first to the emergency room and later to the ICU. She is doing well today and will be staying in the hospital while they adjust her medicine again.

As we often do Joanne and I hugged and thanked God for friends who help you in times of trouble. Joanne has said time and time again that she doesn't know how people who don't know Jesus make it through the hard times. I am grateful that God has placed this dear woman in my life. I look to her as my example of growing in God's grace. I am so humbled by the time and care she gifts to me and am grateful Jesus shares His very best friends with me.

-jené

Beautiful days

Everyday is a gift from God but beautiful days like today make it easy to remember. The last few days have been tiring. Calls to and from Africa in the middle of the night make it difficult to sleep and lack of sleep makes everything more difficult. After dealing with the loss of a friend I was sitting with another offering support as he deals with his toddling niece having leukemia.

I have worked many years with families in crisis I know that the most important thing you can do is to offer love and comfort. Give a hug and show your support. Don't look for the right words because there are none. Job's friends were the best friends ever when they joined him at his side and sat in silence with him. It was when they opened their mouths that he should have sent them on their way. So I hugged my friend, offered to help get out the news about a blood drive for Corinne, and gave blood today while updating my info with the Marrow Donor Registry.

The chance to give hope and help is what really made today a beautiful day and I am thankful for the opportunity and the day.

-jené

Glad and Sad

I am glad that an old friend claimed the promise made for her and moved to Heaven today.

I am sad because I will miss her.


As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well used brings happy death.

Leonardo da Vinci

Celtic Prayer

I've been using a Celtic Psalter in my morning and evening centering. Last night's prayer touched my heart and I want to share it with you.

In the quiet of the night

may I know your presence, O God.

At the ending of the day

may my soul be alive to your nearness.

Amidst the tiredness that overcomes my body

and the tensions that linger in my mind,

amidst the uncertainties and fears

that haunt me in the darkness of the night,

let me know your presence, O God,

let my soul be alive to your nearness.