The Blessings of a Friend

Went several places today and looked at quite a few apartments. Some nice, some not so nice, a couple a little scary. May end up in one of these but want to look a while longer.

I talked with a friend today who is also making big changes in her life. We were comparing notes. She too seeks to live her life to the glory of God. She gets the "whole life" concept. You know, that everything you do is for God. You don't have a separate social, work and spiritual life. I am grateful she is in my life. I need support from someone who understands life is about The Journey.

• The people God uses you to touch with His love and grace.
• The chance for you to offer comfort and bring hope.
• The time spent with Him in quiet listening for His Spirit.
• The joy of serving others.
• The gift of sharing Him and leading others on their first steps on The Journey.
• The pleasure of fellowship with others who seek to do His will.

When you are with such a giving soul as her's it is easy to open up and share your own steps and let her lift you and guide you on the way. I had originally called her to see how she was doing with the changes she is making and ended up being comforted by the encouragement she gave me.

This year has been a great one for clearer vision. God has shown me over and over again how much he cares by the special people He's gifted to my life.

Thanks Tammy for reflecting Jesus' love so brightly, thanks for always having a comforting word, thanks for keeping me motivated on my journey.

Love,

jené

Steps in the journey

Well, the word is out that I need a place to stay. Most surprisingly, I have been asking for help. I have had several offers of guest rooms, couches, and one friend offered me her house for the month as she spends May up in Philly with her sister.

God has been so good to help me find peace in all of this. Once again I am reminded of wisdom from both of my Fathers. My Heavenly father and my dad have both taught me much. My Daddy has told me more than once; and if you are a father you will understand why repetition is necessary; "God calls us to obedience, not results."

A dear friend put out a call for help on my behalf. She knows I have difficulty with this. She will be surprised and glad to know I have set aside my reluctance because I know it is an affront to my Lord. It may have taken me years to learn this but I am finally coming around. You see both of my Fathers have had to repeat many lessons for me.

My co-workers saved me some great boxes and I am using them today to get the packing started. I saw a few apartments on Sunday and have appointments tomorrow for more. Everyone I know is calling all their friends to see if anyone has a garage apartment available.

I'll keep you up-to-date with the steps on this journey here.

Thanks for your prayers,

jené

Road trip thoughts

Yesterday was such a day for the Lord I just don't know where to begin. I guess I'll handle it chronologically.

It started with an early morning wake up call as I had committed to be part of the team praying for Project 180. For the last three years Grace Presbyterian Church has taken one day and over a thousand volunteers into the neighborhood to share God's love. It's a fabulous day and the best way to recharge your spirit of giving. Since I was going to be working the early shift I signed up for an even earlier prayer shift. The great thing about prayer is you can pray in bed. All I had to do was roll over, quiet the alarm and open my heart.

I got to the site and was directed to the outdoor classroom. I spent three hours moving dirt, spreading mulch, and leveling crushed granite. I was pretty filthy by the time I boarded the bus to go back to my car. Being there and working with others who love to share Christ in a real and practical way to the world around them was better than I can ever tell you. It's what I love best.

I went home to shower and think about getting in a car for a day trip to Austin to have dinner with my family. My nephew was down from Purdue to be wooed by UT (They didn't woo him well by the way). I decided to make the trip after conversing with family and a great friend. I was traveling along and enjoying the wonderful wildflowers. I needed to stop and get gas and while stopped received a call with some disturbing news. I have been planning to move at the end of May but due to surprising developments I have to move out by the end of the month.

I got back in the car and started my music up. I had put the Zune on random play of some Selah tracks. The first song to play was Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus, the next songs were, It Is Well With My Soul, His Eye Is on the Sparrow, Be Still My Soul, and What a Friend We Have in Jesus. I was singing along to each and thankful that while the Zune randomly chooses the song to play, God chose each one to give my heart ease. I spied a particularly beautiful patch of wildflowers and decided it was a great place to stop and do a little picture taking and prayer walking.

After getting back in the car, I thanked God that I know deep in my heart everything that happens to me works out for His glory. I have next to no time to find a place. I need to find something cheap, and I have less time to earn extra money for the move. Sounds frightening? Yes and no, yes when I think of working this out on my own, no when I remember that God works things out for me. Things may not work in any way I might envision and God works on His own timeline. Past experience has taught me it is best to rely on Him and let Him work on me.

So, the next 24 days are a chance to pray more often, trust more fully and rejoice greatly!

Glad Jesus loves me!

-jené

What makes you that way?

This is a question I have been asked quite a lot in the last few weeks. You'll need a little background to understand the reasoning. My computer's motherboard crashed. No problem, just send it back to the manufacturer and they will return it good as new.

My computer made it to it's destination and sat there for nine days with no one seeing to it. After many hours and several days on the phone I finally reached the upper tier of service in Canada. I spent a great deal of time talking to one woman in particular. While we were talking she thanked me for remaining calm. I told her it was not of my doing. I explained I had been feeling frustrated prior to calling her and spent some time in prayer asking God to calm my heart and help me to remember that the person on the other end of the line was one of His creations. She was silent for a moment and asked me why would I pray about my computer. I explained that in everything I do I try to do it as if for the Lord Himself. I told her the concept was not mine alone and shared with her the story of Brother Lawrence's life. We ended up chatting for quite a while, and again the next week when she called to see how the computer was working.

We were also covering disciplines in our Lent in the Living Room class and the question came up again. I had a particularly trying afternoon of designing for three engineers back to back. Now I mean no disrespect to engineers in particular but they sometimes feel the rest of us are not quite up to their level when it comes to understanding the function of design. The last gentleman I was helping kept insisting he knew what he was doing and I should just let him show me the best way to do my job. I know the only way to deal with these guys is to smile politely and mentally chant "God made this man, God made this man." until the urge to slap the arrogance from his being passes. I have found this always works and helps me to keep my heart light. When the aforementioned man left his wife turned to me and thanked me for being so kind to her husband. She asked me how I could be so nice when he was being so rude. I explained that I love the Lord and do everything as if it were for Him. I also said that when needed I mentally chanted until my heart caught up with my desire to please God. She gave me a hug and said it was something she would think of doing as well.

I would like to say that this is always my motivation for my life, but I know I fall short often. Right now I am seeking to make my life more focused on the Lord. I'll be moving soon and may be changing my job as well. Please pray that I'll be open to where the Lord leads me. I have a dear friend who meets with me each week so we can pray together that God will make our lives an offering unto Him. She has taught me so much by her willingness to make all of her life a gift to her Lord. In many ways she reminds me of my mom. She won't like the age comparison but I've told her enough about my mom that she'll be tickled pink.

Thank you Seti
and thanks mom.

Love,
jené

Singing in Heaven....and Texas too!

I came straight from work to play with my favorite gals tonight while their mom and dad are working at the school charity event. I had brought everything to make pizza. They love to get their hands into the dough and really enjoy kneading.

After dinner I was washing the dishes when Sara came running into the kitchen with Julia racing in right after her. Sara was smiling so hard she was about to burst her face. She said "Nené, guess what just happened in the living room! " Before I could even draw a breath, she rushed on. " I helped Julia to say a prayer to ask Jesus to live in her heart and now she’ll go to heaven with us someday! " Julia was beaming and said " I asked Sara to help so I could say the right things. " Well of course this meant stopping the dishes right then so we could talk about everything.

I can tell you it was about 20 minutes of the purest joy I will ever find this side of heaven. It was also a relief to have a serious talk of a happy nature. During dinner we had already dealt with: who’s a stranger, why do people die, why are some people hungry, who made angels, and why did satan want to leave heaven. After fielding all of those, living for Jesus is a very welcome respite.

Later before bed we all spent some time together singing, doing Tai Chi, and meditating. We were all in close quarters in Julia’s bed for thankful time. Anyone can say something they are thankful for and the thanks run the gamut from the touching to the silly. My heart soared when Sara said " I am thankful Julia now has Jesus, and I am glad I could help."

Me too, Sara, this is the best thing you will ever do.

-jené

Uncommon Graces

I have gotten to where I dread the political season. It makes me weary and my heart hurts. I spend much of it saddened, frustrated and confused. I know I am not alone in this.

Where I may find myself alone is in the cause for these reactions. It's not the endless political posturing by the candidates, it's not the various slants to the reporting, it's not even dissatisfaction with the candidates themselves. It comes from those "well-meaning Christians" who wish to spread their often impatient and frequently rude comments. Harsh words and unpleasant jokes run rife through the season. It seems disaproval of someone must be done with a hostile attitude.


Six years ago an old beau who is now a priest sent me a book in which I found someone to share my view. (the whole beau to priest story is for another blog) He sent me Uncommon Graces: Christlike responses to a hostile world by John Vawter. He helps us to remember the grace of gentleness, attentiveness, loyalty, candor, mercy, kindness, and repentance.


During this season of political mayhem intolerant spirits abound. When did it become accepted by people of faith to be so mean spirited to those who disagree with them? I receive emails with unflattering jokes, hateful and deriding words all in an effort to sway me not to vote for the ungodly candidate. One thing I have learned is you cannot expect "Godless" people to behave in a Godly manner. Lately I have wondered just how "Godly" people differ.


The only way anyone can see God in us is for us to reflect His love and grace. Notice I said His love and grace. Sometimes it is hard to feel loving or gracious to those around us. The marvelous thing is we can ask the Spirit to fill us with the love and compassion we might lack. We don't have to be perfect and do this all ourselves. I am convinced anyone who tries to love on their own will fail. True love comes from God. He is it's author. Unless you allow His love to channel through you, all you have is a pale pitiful offering. No one can share a grace they have not taken into their own heart. At least this has been my experience.

When I was in my twenties I knew well of God. Knew all the right words to say to my Christian friends, read all the right books and did all the right things. Somewhere along the way I had forgotten that being a Christian means a wondrous love affair with the Lord. I thought that by growing up I would have to leave the intimacy I had found in my teens years behind because it was a childish way to work my faith. I had forgotten that I don't work out my faith, the Spirit works it out in me. By limiting my relationship with God to the confines of my mind I failed. Failed miserably in sharing His love with others. Failed superbly in finding joy for myself. And failed my brothers and sisters in Christ by stepping out of sync with their fellowship.


As I struggle with the sadness at the vindictiveness of the season I try to remember that sometimes even those who assert they know Christ still don't know Jesus. They too have confined God to their minds and kept Him from their hearts. I ask God to help me to remember to share His love because they might need His Son. Thankfully I had friends who loved me enough to tell me they saw no evidence of Christ in me. I'm grateful to them for doing so, I'm thankful the Spirit was still with me to show me how to open my heart again.

Tonight is the start of Lent. We celebrate Ash Wednesday to bring our hearts to repentance. A chance to tally up whatever is wrong in you and bring it to the One who can forgive and make it right. The Psalm I started the day with was Psalm 51. I like to say it's a favorite but truthfully I 'd be hard pressed to find one that isn't.

Generous in love—God, give grace!
Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record.
Scrub away my guilt,
soak out my sins in your laundry.
I know how bad I've been;
my sins are staring me down.
You're the One I've violated,
and you've seen it all, seen the full extent of my evil.
You have all the facts before you;
whatever you decide about me is fair.
I've been out of step with you for a long time,
in the wrong since before I was born.
What you're after is truth from the inside out.
Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.
Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean,
scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life.
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
set these once-broken bones to dancing.
Don't look too close for blemishes,
give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me,
shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Don't throw me out with the trash,
or fail to breathe holiness in me.
Bring me back from gray exile,
put a fresh wind in my sails!
Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
so the lost can find their way home.
Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,
and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.
Unbutton my lips, dear God;
I'll let loose with your praise.
Going through the motions doesn't please you,
a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
don't for a moment escape God's notice.

Psalm 51:1-17
The Message

I pray that wherever you find yourself this Lenten season you will be open to reflecting God's grace.

-jené

all blogged out

I have found myself uninspired to post. It is true the past months have been difficult but that alone hasn't stopped me. I have kept in touch with those close to my heart by phone, email, walks in the park and lots of hugs and prayers . I guess I have been overwhelmed by the feelings of futility found when I read other blogposts. I mostly read blogs of faith, with a smattering of the arts, politics and science.

I enjoy reading some of my friends blogs because they are willing to share of themselves. They give me their insight, encouragement, and life lessons learned freely. They are people who make their faith central to their life. Because I see the way they share their love for the Lord with those around them, I know they are not just "cyberspace" Christians. You know what I mean, posting long entries about God's grace but no evidence of the same in the way they live. They only have "Christian " friends and never place themselves outside their comfort zone.

They use the safety of solitude to project a version of themselves they want the world to see. They go on and on about what God is teaching them. Yet when you look at their lives you would be hard pressed to find them living those lessons. I find my self saddened and falling into despair. How can someone who knows of my amazing God keep that knowledge out of their hearts?

My philosophy teacher and I used to go round and round on this issue. He used to assert that knowledge leads to enlightenment. I believe unless that knowledge is lodged in your heart and effects change in how you live, it is just useless noise. At this point in my life where every action requires much effort, I just don't have time for the noise. I have finally realized that even when those I care for cannot make the heart connection, there is nothing I can do. They have to be open to God working in their lives.

What I can do is pray that God will change their hearts. That I will continue to do.

So I need to decide if this effort is worthwhile. If so many can blog so eloquently and accomplish nothing, why bother?

On the flip side I get so much from quite a few blogs. I have some great friends who are very generous in sharing what Christ is doing in their lives. I would miss that. I love being able to read entries from my nieces and nephews and find out what is current in their lives.

So what nugget of truth can I share with you from what God has been teaching me. I need to be open to sharing with all in my life, that part is easy. The next is hard, there will always be people in our lives that we care for who do not want to share. Whatever their reasons they want to hold us at arm's length, seeming to be close but stopping short of a meaningful relationship. Until God changes their hearts and they welcome us in, we can do nothing.

This has been a real struggle for me. It has taken me many years to realize this. I am thankful God is patient with me. He knows just how hard this has been for me to accept.

I still haven't decided about the whole " to blog or not to blog" issue. I only have so much I can do and it seems more important to me to place my energies in to face to face relationships. I have been working at a balancing of my life in all areas. I believe this issue will balance itself out as well.

Remember

On this day remember,
in the midst of a fantastic horror,
many gave so freely,
that others might live.

Remember their sacrifice and rejoice.

grateful,

jene'

"It was a dark and stormy night..."

I can clearly remember the first time I read A Wrinkle in Time . I remember getting lost in the journey through the folds of time (A.K.A terrasects) in the search for Dr. Murray. The strange way Mrs Whatsist, Mrs Who and Mrs Which appeared.

I remember being enthralled in finding myself in such a fantastical universe. It was not until I read the book a second time at 14 that I understood all the Madeline L'Engle had to say. I truly cannot overcome Evil without my Father. Love can solve any problem. Great Light will sacrifice itself to conquer darkness.

As I grew up reading scripture I thought nothing out of place in finding verses being quoted by the main characters. It was for this reason her books were challenged. There were also those who disliked her inclusion of Buddha and Ghandi being listed along with Jesus as those who fought darkness on earth.

This story and all of her other writings hold a special place in my heart. I learned from her. I learned girls can be the "Hero" and be brave and bold. I learned that love does not make you weak, it makes you strong. I learned that questioning and reasoning are good things if they lead to understanding.

I will always be grateful for that.

-jene'

P.S. Mrs Who taught me to love Shakespeare

Waiting tables

Lord. take me where you want me to go;
Let me meet who you want me to meet;
Tell me what you want me to say;
and Keep me out of your way.

Father Mychal Judge


I stumbled across this prayer earlier this year. It says better than I ever could the desire of my heart. I love being open to God placing me where I can show His love to everyone. So many times people think sharing God's love with the world is something done only by missionaries in foreign countries.

Still, if you think about it, all those who follow Jesus are part of His Kingdom. So wherever you are on this earth, you are in a foreign country. You are a visitor from God's Kingdom to the world. You are the ambassador to everyone around you. Do you represent your Kingdom well? Do the people you meet know you are from afar? Do they know your Kingdom's benefits? Can you share with them your prime product?

I have had the opportunity of late to find myself with a lot of time to meditate on this. I love the fact that there are many I know I can be a tour guide for. I can share with them the love I have for my Kingdom and why it is the greatest place to belong to.

I have been reloading music onto my MP3 player lately and one old song from Take 6 seems to say just how I feel about sharing God's love.

The Best stuff in the world cafe

Time for lunch, my stomach said
I left the office to get fed
I had dined at every place on Main
My appetite was ripe for change.
And there stood this old restaurant
I had never seen before
And a stranger in an apron
Came bursting through the door and said

Welcome to the best stuff in the world today cafe
We are all believers in a better way
We were served as customers not so long ago
Now we are all waiters, thought you ought to know

Then the waiter said to me
"Everything we serve is free"
And when he saw that I was full of doubt
He shoved the best stuff in my mouth.
The food was so fantastic, man
I could not stay in my seat
I jumped up from the table
And dragged a stranger off the street
And said:

Welcome to the best stuff in the world today cafe
We are all believers in a better way
We were served as customers not so long ago
Now we are all waiters, thought you ought to know.

And if you're inclined to take the time
To show your gratitude
Then serve somebody else today
Like I've done for you.

Pretty soon the business went berserk
And all the people left their work
In every case because they took the time to serve
They each got more than they deserved.
The pantry soon was empty
And all that we could find
Was some simple bread and wine
But the people stood in line to say:

Welcome to the best stuff in the world today cafe
We are all believers in a better way
We were served as customers not so long ago
Now we are all waiters, thought you ought to know

So know you know the way I learned
That once the tables have been turned
It's just not enough to have your fill
Tip the waitress, pay the bill
When you can serve the banquet
That the world's so hungry for
So grab an waiter's apron
And see who's at the door And say:

Welcome to the best stuff in the world today cafe
We are all believers in a better way
We were served as customers not so long ago
Now we are all waiters, thought you ought to know.

When I first heard it it really touched my heart. It was so true. If you have been to the banquet you feel compelled to share it with everyone. It isn't enough to just feast at the banquet and let the rest of the world starve. If you can, you missed the gift of the banquet. You had dinner, you didn't find the feast.

The other night a grand friend and I were sharing dinner. We talked about being open to the people God places in your life. We shared our concern about several mutual friends who surround themselves only with Christians. How can they be happy when there is no one in their life they can pass along God's love to?

Glad to serve at the banquet table and staying out of God's way,

jene'